Stansbury Material

I was indulging myself by reading US Weekly when I came across a snippet listing celebrity's SAT scores. I was shocked and awed to find out that that prick with the flesh colored beard, Spencer Pratt, had claimed he scored a 1490. I find this very hard to believe, but I thought to myself, "Well, you still didn't beat Zack Morris!"

As you all know, Zack scored a 1502 on the SAT, deeming him "Stansbury material". If you aren't sure what Stansbury is, it's the Harvard of the west, naturally. I remember watching this episode long before I took the SATs myself, tucking each of the gang's scores in the back of my mind for future comparisons. When the time came for me to take the dreaded test, there I sat nervously with my #2 pencils, trying to calm myself by recalling this episode. When I got my scores, I was dumbfounded to realize that not only had I scored lower than Zack, but the only person I scored higher than was Slater!! Even that airhead Kelly did better than me. It didn't make me feel any better when Kelly, trying to explain Zack's unbelievable high score says, "The SAT measures how smart you are, not how hard you study". I say bologna. I demand a retake for all of us!

Friends Forever,

AC Slater